87

In two days, my semester is effectively over. My last two assignments of the entire semester are due on Wednesday (with the exception of a biology presentation on Thursday). I have the feeling that tomorrow night is going to be just the same as last night was, and Thursday. But after that, no more. Just finals.

Dance fitness tonight. Lauren is so much fun and even though I absolutely suck at dancing I try really hard and I have fun. Despite Lauren's assurances that everybody was a beginner, and everybody would suck as much as me, I am definitely the worst dancer there. I'm unbelievably uncoordinated and definitely can't move my hips the way we're supposed to. I thought I was at least getting there until Al and Kathleen burst out laughing at me and now I'm so incredibly self conscious. I'm pretty sure my body is physically incapable of it. Ah, well.

We also invented a game this afternoon: euchre-crib (we haven't come up with a good name yet. but it'll catch so we need one). Basically, it's crib with certain aspects of euchre (like bauers are super awesome if you have them, and the flipped card is automatically trump, and you have to follow suit in the play) and while the length of game and average hands isn't ultimately changed, it adds a whole new aspect to the game. For example, you actually have to think about what you're counting because if you are Paul, you might forget that having the left bauer is six points. You also have to think of a whole new strategy because when you have to follow suit, you can't play cards the way you normally would. Anyway, it's definitely gonna catch. It's gonna be bigger than backwards crib.

In other news, it's been 87 days since I arrived at King's in September. It's weird to think of it like that - after all, I'm only here for another 17. GOOD GOLLY.

Off to write my last paper of the semester. Wish me luck!

Listening to: Kangaroo Cry - Blue October

86

"The vagabond within us usually hovers somewhere between the two. One moment he goes off as a liberated soul into the heights; the next as a liberated body into the depths. Indeed, he does not just do one or the other. He does both as once. In what is perhaps the supreme and most refined form of desire, he darts from one to the other, toying with both at once...To yield on the one side or the other, to let go the reins, and then to take them up again and let them go again, merely for the sake of change and because of a new attraction, is not for nothing the most "popular" form of sin; the one in which it is known to all of us directly."

-Karl Barth, Church Dogmatics

76

So I'm taking a quick break from English homework.

Somehow, I have not yet learned my lesson and will once again be up until 3am working on homework. Except I'm pretty sure this won't take that long, and it also wasn't entirely avoidable, but still.

This assignment has had me bouncing off the walls. I had no idea what I was going to write about until this morning, when i suddenly got a brilliant idea. Now, there's two parts to this because I have a presentation in class tomorrow on The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz, and I also have an essay due at the beginning of December and my essay topic is on the same novel. My original plan for the presentation (look at the character of Yvette and her role) wasn't working out, so I found a new and fascinating topic (the novel as a satire, NOT a comedy). When I expanded on this topic, I realized I would much rather write my paper on it than do a five minute presentation. So I abandoned my original essay topic (compare novel and film versions) and emailed my professor asking if this new one would be acceptable. So I had to revert to my original presentation topic. Then I got an email back from my prof giving a more specific way he wants me to write about satire, which doesn't really work for me so now I'm back at square one, where I'm using my not-as-good presentation topic (Yvette) because it's finished and besides, that's what he is expecting me to present on, and my probably-easy-but-not-as-interesting essay topic. Gah. What a waste of time.

And that is the story of why I am up at 1:30 finishing English homework.

Listening to: Giochi d Acqua - Giovanni Allevi

65

Had a chat with Charles, the music professor, yesterday. I'm considering switching majors. It would be extremely stressful, at least for next semester, and I'm wondering if it's worth it. As it stands, I have three options: come back with an English major and music minor (what I'm currently in), come back with a music major and an English minor, or don't come back at all. If I want to keep all these options open, I have to take certain classes next semester. I'll be keeping my Englishes, as well as tonal harmony and aural skills. I will also need to add music history, choir, and probably an applied music. And I would have to drop the philosophy and theology classes that I'm currently registered for. So my credits are getting close to my credit limit:

Canadian Lit: 3

other English: 3

Harmony: 3

Aural skills: 1.5

music history: 3

choir: 2

applied music: 1.5

= 17 total, with a credit limit of 17.9. Which means an insane amount of homework and practicing and a ton of commitment to the program or I will never get through it.

I also want to go on the Honduras water project this year. I have to talk to Justine to get a better idea of what is involved in going, but if I can swing it I absolutely want to go.

In a way, I feel as though having talked to Charles and figured out a bit of that music stuff, I've gotten some direction and I feel a lot more confident about next semester...but I also feel worried that I can't handle it. I also have to audition for my applied music so they can determine if I am proficient enough to take lessons for credit...which I have to do whether I plan on majoring or minoring in music. That's a whole ton of stress for someone who doesn't like playing for people who know nothing of music, much less accomplished musicians. It's like singing for Melanie - of all my professors she is the one instructor I respect and whose opinion I value most. She's also an amazing singer so auditioning for a solo was beyond stressful - compared to her, I probably sound like nails rattling around in a tin can. Auditioning for my applied music is going to feel like that.

Anyway, the best I can do for now is prepare and focus on school and life right now. Hopefully this all goes well.

Listening to: Mr Pitiful by Matt Costa

60

I'm pretty much nocturnal these days. I'm going to bed in ten minutes and I think that's the first time in at least a week and a half that I'm going to sleep before 2.

But since I'm up anyway, I'll blog for a minute about life.

I've got three main problems going on here these days, one of them being a huge struggle with faith and knowing God (which I think is a paradox) and it's really taking over pretty much everything. But today is monumental in that I'm pretty sure I won't be up until all hours of the night wrestling with it. This may have something to do with the fact that 1) I actually did some of my theology reading tonight and 2) I had an interesting conversation with a friend (via text...go figure). I'm currently in the middle of Luther going into great detail about one issue and it's funny because Erik was telling me pretty well the same thing (in a more concise way...). It's just good to know that at least some people are on the same page as me.

In other news, we moved Al's bed to the living room when she was in Lacombe yesterday, and moved the couch and fish and end table into her room. Definitely the cosiest look for our living room. Heather and I are apparently super good at coming up with pranks.

I also received a letter the other day, which pretty much made my day. I forgot how exciting that is =P I will try to send more letters out to people in the next little while - I have definitely gotten out of the habit of writing.

Speaking of, I find writing is a really good way to pray. It helps keep me focused and the really good thing about writing is that even if you don't know how to say what you're trying to say, if you keep on writing you will eventually say it. I'm gonna need to get a new journal though.

And last, I'm meeting with Dr Stolte, the "professor of music" (which I am pretty sure just means he's the head of the department), on Wednesday morning to figure out some courses for next semester. I'm definitely considering changing to a music major if I come back next year.

So I guess that's life. As always, missing home. And yet I know that when I leave, I'll be texting friends all the time.

PS I think I'm going to start recommending songs...not every post, but whenever I feel like I've got a good song...which happens pretty often. Here's the first one:

Song recommendation of the day: Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional*

*I have a different version on my itunes which is probably my favourite but this one is pretty good too

46

Dear strepthroat/tonsillitis common virus,

I am angry with you. This morning, you made it impossible for me to eat anything other than yogurt. You woke me up at 12:30 (half an hour after I'd gone to bed) and 8:00 (an hour and a half before I'd planned on getting up). This on a night when I particularly needed sleep. Thanks to you, my throat looks all swollen and red and lumpy.

I don't want to walk 20 minutes to Capilano and wait there for an hour and a half just to get a prescription, but you are forcing me to. And, you are killing my voice. So I would appreciate it a lot if you could just go on your merry way and attack other people's throats instead. Thanks.

Yours,

Allison

44

It breaks my heart.