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Back in Ed. Missed the choir concert (the only reason I flew in this morning instead of tonight) but it was an excellent day anyway. Watched mens' volleyball take the bronze in an exciting comeback, saw my aunt, uncle, and cousin, taught Andrew to play crib, watched a bit of the Lovely Bones, and spent all evening hanging out with Allison, playing two person euchre, and talking about everything. It's REALLY hard to focus on what you're saying, and to put together coherent sentences, when you are exhausted. Roommates who understand you anyway are the best.

It makes me sad that I haven't seen a relaxed smile from this friend in months. It makes me sadder that she hasn't smiled at me in weeks. And yet her smiling face is all over my wall.

Listening to: The Great Collapse - The Zolas (thanks Abby ;)

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Last weekend, I spent 36 hours on the bus in four days. My week began exhaustingly.

But it's been amazing. Except for feeling completely awful this morning, and acquiring a cold along the way, I've had a blast hanging out with my siblings, babysitting my nephew, and seeing a few friends. I got no homework done.

I'm really excited for the next few years at King's, and I'm happy to really know what I'm heading towards for the first time in my life...but it's so hard to leave here, every time. I love BC, and I mostly love the Lower Mainland. And it's wonderful to be at school and hang out with my friends and see new people every day and do all the great things you do in university, but I still miss being home and seeing my family every day. Here's to two more months before Easter/summer (only 8 weeks???)

Listening to: Kaleidoscope Heart - Sara Bareilles

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Things learned in conversation with Paul and Wendell:

1) more books are more awesome than I realized

2) the brains of people who are blind from birth actually re-designate the function of the sections that deal with optical input (because they never receive any input). cause I wondered why somebody blind from birth would say they see nothing while somebody who becomes blind sees darkness.

3) brains are incredible

4) computers are also incredible

5) computers also have the potential to take over the world one day. It's not just a crazy sci-fi theory, something that could happen but in like a million years - the theory is that once computers reach the intelligence level of humans, they can function (and replicate) without human control/assistance. This of course stemmed from a discussion of the level of consciousness of a computer, which came about because of Watson the jeopardy computer - is it conscious??? What defines consciousness?

5) apparently there's a thought that eventually people will be able to hook up their brains to computers and essentially have access to everything in that computer's database and function as a computer. Paul, the psyc major/taking the Brain and Behaviour class confirmed that this is a real theory so it's not just the computer nuts living in their apartment who think so.

I love my friends.

I'm scared of computers.

Listening to: Hey Ocean!

164

I emailed Starbucks yesterday about their fair trade policies (and the fact that most of their Shared Planet information hasn't been updated for five years...some is a decade old). Crazy.

Loralee told me today that she found fair trade rice at this place on Whyte Avenue. Apparently she goes there all the time because they have a lot of fair trade and organic stuff, as well as a lot of local stuff. Loralee loves them because they really practice what they preach - apparently they used to be further down the street, up on top of a bar or something, super small, and they moved to a new place last year and to get everything there they used bicycles. Isn't that crazy? They had the help of some of their regulars and other people who support them and put everything in wagons that they pulled behind their bikes. I want to support businesses like that.

Listening to: Roll Away Your Stone - Mumford and Sons

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Today in church, Naomi Mahaffy gave a presentation on her experience in Cambodia (it was really good). Last week in Bible study, Loralee told us that the rice industry is big for child labor. She said how everybody is concerned with fair trade coffee and fair trade tea...but who thinks about fair trade rice? Now I'm reading in my theo of mission book (The Open Secret - Lesslie Newbigen) about the rich exploiting the poor. I can't believe how riled up I am about this. I want to go work abroad SO incredibly badly. I'm going to look into internships in Honduras for next year or the year after. I am fully aware that I can do very little for these people by myself, and the money that I spend travelling there could be more economically used by the people, but I want to learn more about them and learn about their situation and get to know them. Now if only I could speak Spanish.

Something that is a huge conflict of interest for me: last night Allison's friend had a birthday so we went to the bar and hung out with her work friends all night. I had the most fun I've had in a bar in a while, but what bothers me is the excessive waste and regret in a bar. The amount of drinking, for a start. I'm guilty here - I don't need to drink, but I still do. But Allison said yesterday, "I wonder what the average amount of alcohol consumed on Whyte Ave on the typical Saturday night?" And it's got to be SO high. Take me, Heather, Becky, and Allison. Four girls who drink a below average amount. Multiply that by the tons and tons of people on Whyte on Saturday, plus a bunch of extra for that majority that drinks a lot more than us. Then the regret comes in: people do DUMB things when drunk. We also walked past a significant number of cops, some of whom were just chilling out and maintaining a presence, others of whom were dealing with dangerous/troublesome drunks. What could possibly justify the amount of chaos inspired on Saturday nights that they need to having extra cops patrolling the street? I could go on and on about this, but I need to go to bed.

Last but not least, today was probably the most excellent afternoon I have had for quite a while. All the VanAndel children were in town this weekend for a wedding so I met 2 cousins I never knew (from Ontario), got to hang out with/reacquaint myself with another from Cloverdale, and spend a last afternoon with another who just moved to Cloverdale. And see Julie and the kids. Have some lunch, a glass of wine to celebrate the gathering of "all the VanAndel (and a Heinen)," and talk about shutter speed, ISO, and aperture. It's pretty funny (and weird) when your roommate introduces her dad to you, saying, "Dad, this is your cousin Allison."

Listening to: This City's A Mess - Said the Whale

160x2

And life gets kind of back to normal...

An incredibly awful week gets significantly less awful when you make a conscious decision to not be miserable about it.

It also helps to start fixing a splintering relationship.

Listening to: Beautiful Things - Gungor

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“So I'll stand with ARMS HIGH and HEART ABANDONED in AWE of the one who gave it all! I'll stand, my soul, Lord, to You surrendered, ALL I AM IS YOURS!"

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I just realized that this busyness isn't going to go away.

Today I took my calendar and wrote down everything that I have to do between now and next Wednesday...JUST for music. It's PACKED. Add in my English essay, English midterm, and theology assignments (two of them), plus eating and sleeping and attending class, and my Canadian lit reading is not going to get done.

A note to all you soon-to-be-graduates: taking six courses is stressful. Don't do it in a semester that is already stressful due to planning for next year, applying for water projects and leadership positions, and figuring out living arrangements.

Listening to: Too Soon - Hey Ocean!

157

Advantage to having no screen on my main window: if I forget my keys and happen to leave my window wide open and my desk is clean, I can crawl in through my window.

Disadvantage to having no screen on my window: my window is frozen shut. And if I can force it open, it will get stuck open and I have to awkwardly (over my desk) throw all my weight against it to make it close.

I love Edmonton winter.

PS: According to Dr Stolte, February is a "crummy month" because it is nothing (January is winter and March is "spring" but February is nothing) and that is the reason it is only 28 days instead of 30-31. I think my professors are crazy.

Listening to: A-Punk - Vampire Weekend

155

Last night I went to Erik's house for his "chill-to-escape-the-chill/one-month-after-my-birthday" party/all night movie marathon. The movies didn't last, but the chill did. I felt like a bit of an odd duck just because every single other person there goes to Concordia (so even if they didn't know each other before last night, they still had the whole school thing in common) but it was fine. I am glad I went, that's for sure. Met some pretty awesome guys and girls and hung out for a while. I got pretty exhausted around 11:30 but I was content to just sit and listen to everybody talking about their school events and laughing their heads off at school-related jokes I didn't understand. We watched one full movie (Ratatouille), one 15 minute little video (Logorama*), and a bit of the Breakfast Club (I fell asleep about ten minutes in. It was 4am). I even got a ride back this morning - taking transit would have taken me at least an hour and a half but this girl Danielle was going to Sherwood Park anyway so she dropped me off.

It was pretty sweet to be able to go to something like this and still come out of it really happy that I went and wishing it wasn't over. I'm glad I got to come home and brush my teeth but it was kind of sad too, cause I really enjoyed it and I don't know if I'll see any of these people again (except Erik...). Ah, well. I'm really happy he invited me though, I had a good time. And it proved to me that it's not always best to take the guaranteed fun (going to Lacombe) over the potential of a good night with people you don't know, Moulin Rouge!, and a restful weekend.

*Logorama is a short film made entirely using logos and mascots of various companies and corporations. There's some foul language and other nastiness, so if you choose to watch, be warned. That being said, it's very well done and I was quite entertained. You could watch it over and over and still catch new things. Obviously it's a commentary on capitalism and consumerism and all that other stuff, but it's good for the entertainment value too.

Listening to: Who Wants To Live Forever - Queen

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I just had my interview for student leadership. I got 4 hours of sleep (working on theo and English late last night, thank you busy weekend) and was a little spacey - I think I spent a lot of time looking at the table in front of me or the bookshelf, trying to gather my thoughts and speak clearly, not spasticly like I usually do. In talking to Tim before the interview, trying to sort out the distinctions between the positions (some of them have been amalgamated by others, which was not clear in the job descriptions), I wasn't thinking clearly and said something REALLY dumb. In the interview itself though, I think I handled myself pretty well. I answered as honestly and thoroughly as possible, and I think they were happy with me. It doesn't mean I'll get a job, because 1) they're pretty popular jobs, 2) there's other ways for me to be involved in the ways I described than just being employed by the school, and 3) I fear that dumb thing I said before the interview might come back to bite me in the butt. We'll see. But I feel pretty good about the interview at least.

And to complete my happiness, Canadian lit is cancelled today. Today was supposed to be the day that we wrote our in-class essays, a task that stressed the crap out of me because I've been so busy I haven't finished the reading yet, much less prepared a paper for it. The essay is optional but can definitely be valuable, so I am extremely appreciative of having an extra two days to prepare.

Time to go practice for aural skills now. Being saved from this essay has not banished the rest of my homework. Keyboard testing tomorrow, harmony assignment for Monday, choir practice, English paper, English reading, theology reading and assignments, theology paper, Canadian lit midterm...ah, school.

Listening to: Dust Bowl Dance - Mumford and Sons