I am quivering with emotion. My deepest feelings, straining against my skin, spilling from my lips, pouring from my eyes. Undefined, raw. Boundless. It's a wonder no one sees. The very air must be trembling. I ache with overwhelming passion. Everything my senses take in simply fuels it all. Every beautiful lyric, every stunning image, every cruel comment, every heartbreaking story. Like a physical power, forcing itself out of my body. I want to scream with the joy and pain of it all.

oh, school life

I went from being good at harmony (last semester) to being completely shitty at it (last week) to being among the top people in the class (today). I don't understand how people struggled so much with building dominant seventh chords, and it pisses me off that I wasted so much time this weekend working on our homework and hand-in assignment when he just cancelled/postponed them. I could have been working on philosophy, in which case I wouldn't be so stressed right now.

I'm also sick of freezing up whenever I have a melody or rhythm test. I can rock this shit if I can just do it front of the instructor.

Philosophy sucks cause I have so many other classes that I don't really care about it, and because the text is so dense and the prof isn't overly interesting. Theology might be interesting but I hardly remember any of the classes so probably not. And English is honestly pretty boring. The only course I love is choir, which is so great I think of it more as downtime than class-time.

People are awesome.

I have many more friends living in houses this year so I think I need to go visit all of them. It's definitely nice to get out of the apartments and the school every so often.

And finally, I'll be home for a visit on Friday! I am so pumped for this, it's unbelievable.

When your tears are spent on your last pretense, and your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense...

work, and some other things

Something I have learned over the last couple of weeks since I started work is that while I like getting off work early, I really prefer closing shifts over morning. My boss leaves at around 5 and so does one of my managers. The less people left at work, the more fun it is. Eman, the closing manager, is my favourite and she loves me too so it's always fun with her. As long as I don't get stuck closing with the slowest cashiers, it usually ends up being a good time. I still don't want to go back next summer, but it's going better than it was for the first two and a half weeks.

The grad is on Wednesday. How weird that all my TA kids are graduating ;)

My birthday was so good. I worked for 9.5 hours but I came home to my entire family over for dinner, cake, and gifts for me and my dad. I got "birthday presents" at work (my managers gave me a couple of boiled eggs and a cucumber) and even though it was insanely busy most people were oddly lighthearted so it was not a terrible day. The evening was awesome with all my family. Sunday was like a continuation of my birthday - two friends from Abbotsford showed up out of the blue (they meant to go to Fleetwood CRC for the evening service but hit traffic, so they came over instead) and I got to hang out with them for a bit. Then Abby surprised me with a cupcake and sparkler and some other treats! Between the three of them, they made my day. And on Saturday I am going out for dinner and then drinks with a few friends so it just goes on and on.

School is up in the air. I keep forgetting to call SFU/am working whenever I think about it and they are closed when I get home.

I have a sweet new list of books to read. Even better, I have a sweet new stack in my room to read.

Listening to: For Good - Chris Colfer and Lea Michele

blah, technology

so, ignoring the fact that my background is simply my picture over and over again, I like my blog better now. yay!

my webcam turned on by itself, which makes me a little nervous because it's not a running application according to the task manager so I'm a little worried it's being controlled remotely. I don't know how the heck somebody would get access to my webcam (or why) but it freaks me out a little. I'll probably shut my computer down tonight and see what happens tomorrow, and meanwhile keep it covered with tape or something. Yikes. Technology is scary.

and, the Canucks lost again tonight. darn. it was cool to be downtown and see everybody still in pretty good spirits though. people were a little bummed but overall everybody was good about it. they cheered at the beginning of every period, for all of Schneider's saves, for the near goals, and for the fights at the end. So people aren't rioting...yet. Hopefully they will do better on Friday. Go Canucks :)

Listening to: Danza Kuduro - Don Omar ft. Lucenzo

work, and the prospective summer

I think it is time for an end to the numbered posts. I made it through 240 days of apartment 11 (with a few little breaks between) and now it's time to close that bit.

In the meantime, I finally arrived home from Honduras (as of a week ago, as most of you know). Working at Two Ee's for one final summer, since they'll hire me back even though I'm only home for a couple of months. No idea what will happen in September in terms of money - I'll be very short this summer (more than usual, that is) due to losing a month of work and I am not positive about part time jobs for the school year. So we'll see. It is certainly good to be home and to see everybody. It almost makes up for all the things I miss about Honduras, including people, the Spanish language, the landscape, and the awesome rainstorms.

Speaking of Spanish, it's a beautiful language. I love listening to it being spoken (especially cause I can pick out more words than I realized). I plan to take lessons over the next year or so.

But despite missing Honduras so incredibly much, I need to stay positive, particularly because it'll be at least a year before I'm back. So, here are the things I love about home:

Seeing my family. Sunday nights at Dave and Britt's. Cheddar cheese. Apples. Wonderful friends. Access to a vehicle. Relief from 35+ degree weather, or really the constant stickiness that comes with it. My own bed. Being able to make phone calls or send texts without freaking out over the steep charges associated with such conveniences. Church. Ellen. Water that I can drink/brush my teeth with/wash food in. Mmmm.

See? There are plenty of good things about here.

Work tomorrow. Bedtime.

Listening to: Knee Deep - Zac Brown Band